Emily

Don’t be a donkey

Life / /

A few years ago, I was chronically distracted. I won’t bore you with the details, but I remember having a list of all the things I wanted to do—earn my degree, start a blog, change careers, change myself, buy a house—and feeling completely overwhelmed because I thought I had to do all of them immediately. I was focusing on everything, so I wasn’t progressing in anything.

Then I read the advice Derek Sivers said he would give his 30-year-old self: Don’t be a donkey. I realized I didn’t have to (and couldn’t possibly) do everything at once. All I had to do was focus on one thing at a time.

In Tools of Titans he explains,

“Don’t be a donkey . . . I meet a lot of 30-year-olds who are trying to pursue many different directions at once, but not making progress in any, right? They get frustrated that the world wants them to pick one thing, because they want to do them all: ‘Why do I have to choose? I don’t know what to choose!’ But the problem is, if you’re thinking short-term, then [you act as though] if you don’t do them all this week, they won’t happen. The solution is to think long-term. To realize that you can do one of these things for a few years, and then do another one for a few years, and then another . . . don’t be a donkey. You can do everything you want to do. You just need foresight and patience.”

10 things I learned, found interesting, or used this month

Monthly Top 10 / /

1. We don’t procrastinate indiscriminately. Read my super short blog about this here.

2. How to guarantee you have a good day: do good, unselfish things.

3. Put each day up for review: “Anger, [or any vice], will abate and become more temperate if it knows that it must come before a judge every day.” -Seneca

4. More doubt and curiosity, less rigidity and certainty. “Cling to certainty, if it makes you feel better. Just be aware that what you’re clinging to is the opposite of life.” -Neil Strauss

5. It’s all temporary, no need to stress. “It would take an idiot to feel self-importance or distress,” Marcus Aurelius said. “Or any indignation, either. As if the things that irritate us lasted.”

6. The world paradoxically expands when you narrow your focus.

7. Reading and thinking are useless without application. This sounds obvious, but for someone like me who loves to read, I need a reminder that reading is for life, not the other way around. A reminder to take the best ideas from what I’ve read and use them—not mull them over endlessly in my head.

8. Have a schedule when you’re not busy. When you have a schedule for when you’re not busy, you don’t waste your free time trying to figure out what to do. Or worse, waste it on easy defaults like checking social media.

9. Develop pathological empathy for your audience. As Ann Handley talks about in Everybody Writes, you must have pathological empathy for your audience and users. Time is our most valuable non-renewable resource. We should be highly aware—pathologically empathetic—of our user’s time and attention. (An idea I use in my newsletters).

10. Keep your mind clear. In warfare, one side would overwhelm the other with information—trivial, anything—because it caused confusion. When we watch one TikTik video after another, view one status after another, read one headline after another…our minds become confused. Clear thinking goes out the window.

The greater the urge to procrastinate, the more important the task

Life / /

It’s human nature to procrastinate. But here’s the thing: we don’t procrastinate indiscriminately. We procrastinate doing the things that would have the biggest impact on our life. (That’s why we don’t procrastinate on things like checking our email or brushing our hair). When the urge to procrastinate is strongest, it’s usually a sign that it’s something we should lean into. 

Steven Pressfield calls this urge Resistance.

“Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize. We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, ‘I am going to write my symphony; I’m just going to start tomorrow.’”

It’s important to note that Resistance is inside you. It has no power except for the power you give it. 

And there’s only one way to make it powerless: sit down, and do your work.

The top 15 books I read in 2021

Reading / /

Last year I read over 40 books. I skimmed through a few of them this week as I was reorganizing my bookshelf, and decided to make a list of the top 15. 

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, translated by Gregory Hays

I’ve read this book numerous times–it’s one of the best books ever written. Marcus Aurelius reminds us: You can assemble your life action by action. No one can stop you from that.

The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

I’ve been reading this book for years now as part of my daily routine. This is hands down the best book on how to live I’ve ever read. I cannot recommend it enough.

On the Shortness of Life by Seneca

Another book I’ve read many times. One of the biggest takeaways is regarding what is truly worth doing in life: following your unique path and doing it in a way that helps others.

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Resistance is real. The only way to beat it is to show up every day and give it everything you have.

Perennial Sellers by Ryan Holiday

“You don’t have to be a genius to make genius—you just have to have small moments of brilliance and edit out the boring stuff.”

Deep Work by Cal Newport

A day spent doing shallow activities will leave you feeling miserable, even if they seem harmless or fun.

Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield

Turning pro means doing your work without thought of praise or criticism. You do your work because you have no choice—because it’s in your heart like blood. Also, your unique, authentic self is in a constant struggle with your ego.

The Daily Laws by Robert Greene

We cannot be great if we are not our authentic selves.

Meditations, The Annotated Edition by Robin Waterfield

We don’t need more information—we need to go deeper with what we already know to be true.

The Cost of These Dreams by Wright Thompson

Endless ambition is a distraction and waste of life. Enjoy, right now, the life you’re living with the people you love.

Several Short Sentences About Writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg

The importance of working at something daily. You can’t think all your best thoughts in advance. 

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

We exist for a split second.

Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon

Originality is just a mix of existing material. Nothing is truly original.

Essentialism by Greg McKeown

Ninety-nine percent of what we do is inessential.

How To Be Free by Epictetus, Translated by A.A. Long

We must always be fine-tuning our divine superpower: our ability to reason.

10 things I learned, found interesting, or used this month

Monthly Top 10 / /

1. Habits are only habits if they’re done daily. Habits done “once a week aren’t habits at all. They’re obligations”. –Jeff Goins, quoted by Ann Handley in Everybody Writes

2. “Be quiet, work hard, stay healthy. It’s not ambition or skill that is going to set you apart, but sanity.” –Ryan Holiday

3. There’s not enough time to read every book, so “read books that the ideal version of yourself (in 20 years) would have been proud to have read. If you’re reading challenging or intimidating books, you’re probably on the right track”. –David Perell

4. The idea of owning your time. When I work out, I own that one hour. I’m making that one hour serve me, not the other way around. (Source: Robert Greene On The Most Important Advice He Gave Ryan Holiday | Daily Stoic)

5. The importance of focus. “A woodpecker,” Seth Godin writes in The Dip, “can tap twenty times on a thousand trees and get nowhere, but stay busy. Or he can tap twenty-thousand times on one tree and get dinner.” Quoted by Billy Oppenheimer in his Six at Six Newsletter

6. Only a fool is always regretting her actions.

7. According to Michal Schur in How to Be Perfect, all moral philosophy boils down to 4 questions: What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Is there something I could do that’s better? Why is it better?

8. It’s not enough to just appreciate moments of wonder and awe, we must hunt them. (From Julia Baird, Phosphorescence)

9. More on hunting wonder: “People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.” –Iris Murdoch, quoted by Julia Baird, Phosphorescence

10. Here’s Your Secret To Success: Go The F*ck To Sleep –Ryan Holiday

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