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Whenever I read something I can’t stop thinking about or have an insight, I write it down.

Nothing crazy, just a sentence or two in a Google doc labeled “[Year] Insights”. It’s a way for me to remember what I’ve learned, so I can use what I’ve learned, and share it with others.

I had planned to narrow down the list and publish it in December, but it’s already grown considerably, in part due to the number of books I’ve managed to read so far this year:

So below are 23 meditations/ideas/insights I’ve been using in 2023:

1. The first rule for everything: don’t stress.

2. I’ve managed to more than double my reading this year by changing one thing: reading 2-3 books at a time instead of 1. If a book isn’t holding my attention, I’ll put it down and pick up a different one. Maybe I’ll come back to it in a week or a month when I’m in a different headspace. Maybe I won’t come back to it at all. The point is: I never want to let my lack of appetite for one book stop me from wolfing down another.

3. If you ask for feedback, you gain a critic. If you ask for advice, you gain a partner.

4. Kevin Kelly says that when you feel like stopping, give it 5 more minutes. What usually happens, he says, is that you hit your stride and end up exceeding the 5 minutes. I didn’t think much of this at first. But I gave it a try one day while running on my treadmill and it actually works.

5. Amelia Earhart said, “Move with your stick forward”. When I started this newsletter, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t. But life is short; you have to keep your foot on the gas and make adjustments as you go. If you wait until you have things figured out, you’ll never get anywhere. Move with your stick forward.

6. If what you’re doing isn’t worth your best, why are you doing it?

7. Pick up any good philosophy book and it probably talks about—indirectly or otherwise—the importance of living in a state of awe. Well, a cool thing I’ve learned is that you can be in awe of almost everything, not just sunsets and shooting stars. You can be in awe of how boring a speaker is. Or how long you’ve been on hold. You can be in awe of how many people sped up so you couldn’t merge. Or how long someone can talk about herself. In almost every situation, if you look for it, there is an opportunity for awe.

8. To meditate: focus on your breath. When you catch your attention wandering, bring it back to your breath. That’s all you need to know.

9. The religions and philosophies of the world aim to end suffering, not pain. Pain is part of life.

10. Sometimes I’ll catch myself procrastinating when it comes to doing something (relatively) easy. Actually, it’s because it’s easy that I feel like I can procrastinate: It’s just a half hour on the treadmill; it won’t make a difference if I skip today. I can make it up tomorrow. But when this reasoning pops into my head, I’ve been reminding myself of what Jim Rohn said: “What’s easy to do is just as easy not to do.” Then I hop on the treadmill.

11. When my parents’ cat, Quinn, passed away earlier this year, I was really sad. Her final week was gut-wrenching. But my dad reminded me that we can choose what we focus on. “We had sixteen great years with Quinn,” he said. “So we can think about the 1 week of sadness or the 16 years of happiness, you know? We can choose.” The 1 week of sadness or the 16 years of happiness. We can choose. Those words instantly calmed me, and they have calmed me since.

12. Creativity, like life, is about surrender, not force. It’s about listening. It’s about patience. “To listen impatiently,” Rick Rubin said, “is to hear nothing at all.”

13. A great way to waste your time: think about things that are not in your control.

14. Faith, by definition, cannot be argued. Even if it could be, we don’t know what we don’t know. We don’t even know if we have the capacity to know. I love how Montaigne put it: “We have formed a truth by the consultation and concurrence of our five senses, but perhaps we needed the agreement of eight or ten senses, and their contribution, to perceive it certainly and in its essence.”

15. Be suspicious of anyone who tries to turn you away from your faith. Don’t run from questions of faith—investigate them wholeheartedly. Even if it takes years or a lifetime, it’s a pursuit you will never regret. In fact, it’s probably one of the only pursuits you will never regret. The more you live in the spiritual world, and the less you live in the material one, the happier you will become.

16. Attention must be paid by the ounce. To work at peak capacity requires enormous effort. We can’t work at 100% all day. But we can work at 100% every day. That’s what professionals do—they show up every day and add another concentrated ounce to the bucket.

17. Breakthroughs are often hidden in hard work.

18. Don’t be a nerd. Nerds live inside boxes. Lunch is the same every day: a premade sandwich and a container of fruit. Work is statistical mathematics inside predictable software; variables are neatly accounted for. Their life is just as binary. The real world, with its complexity, shades of gray, nuance, chaos, and potential, is kept safely at bay. Fulfillment is traded for certainty. Don’t be a nerd.

19. Do things with a half-smile, especially chores. It makes a difference.

20. If you don’t know which book to read next, go with the one that sounds the most interesting.

21. To really experience life, don’t judge it. Just experience it. While listening to a song, don’t think about whether you like it, just listen. Experience it. You can always analyze it later, but experience it first.

22. Don’t be the best. Be the only.

23. It’s not how hard you work, it’s what you leave behind that counts.

Books Read This Month

–Excellent Advice for Living by Kevin Kelly is one of the best books I’ve read this year. It’s wise and concise. (See the Quotes I’m Reflecting On section below.)

-Jeff Goins recommended Donald Miller’s memoir, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, so I thought I’d give it a try. I’m really happy I did. It’s another one of the best books I’ve read this year. His writing is deep and funny (kind of like David Sedaris but a little more soul-searchy). Using the lessons he learned while producing a movie about his life, he shows how the elements used to create a good story are not much different from the elements used to create a good life. He encourages us to “live a better story.” (It reminded me of one of my other favorite books on life and writing, Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird.) I enjoyed it so much that I ordered another book of his, Blue Like Jazz.

-I was in the mood for fiction so I picked up the award-winning book The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro. I really, really enjoyed it. The overarching themes: What actually matters? What’s worth living for? What does it mean to live a good life?

–The Book of Charlie: Wisdom from the Remarkable American Life of a 109-Year-Old Man by David Von Drehle is wonderful. What I loved most about Charlie was his absolute unwavering optimism. There was no misfortune he couldn’t find some good in. There was nothing he couldn’t use to his advantage. He shrugged off his mistakes—even big financial ones—as nothing more than the tax of life. To him, if you’re not making mistakes, you’re not really living, either. Or, as Harry Truman put it, “Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.”

–Write for Your Life by Anna Quindlen is a short, beautiful book on the importance of writing down your story.

–Lessons From an American Stoic: How Emerson Can Change Your Life by Mark Matousek. Wow. Where do I start? This is also one of the best books I’ve read this year. I had kind of a revelation while reading about Emerson’s philosophy of Transcendentalism. “Transcendentalists sought a more direct relationship with God than was offered through stodgy church rituals,” writes Matousek. He describes Transcendentalism as a sort of spiritual rebellion against the hierarchical, sexist nature of certain churches. Transcendentalism “teaches that spiritual intermediaries are unnecessary for maintaining a close connection with God.” Wow. I finally have a name for something I’ve long felt but could not put into words, and I’m eager to learn more about it. I’m so grateful to have found and read this book.